4 Biblical Steps to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy 2
4 Biblical Steps to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy
Step 2: Begin the process to Forgive
Forgiveness is a frequently misunderstood concept. Many people seem to believe that forgiving means one of the following: Condoning or excusing the offense. Forgetting past abuses or injustices. Minimizing or justifying negative behavior. Immediately trusting the offender again. By way of contrast, true biblical forgiveness is not a matter of overlooking offenses or sweeping them under the rug. Instead it means: Giving up unhealthy anger which is often expressed as bitterness, spite, rage, the "silent treatment," or revenge. Turning both the offender and the offense over to God for His righteous judgment.
Making a commitment to work through the issues together until the root causes of the problem have been identified and resolved. Actively rebuilding the relationship, brick by brick, on a foundation of solid trust. Remember: forgiveness is not optional for the Christian. God requires that you forgive your spouse – "for if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:15). So "be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32). If this is a struggle for you, begin by asking the Lord to help you in those areas where you're finding it difficult to forgive.
Sin is the obvious reason we hurt each other, but it isn't always easy to get to the practical heart of the matter. For helpful insight into this aspect of the problem, we'd highly recommend that you and your spouse get a copy of Ashley Amber's excellent book "Rebirth: How to create a fresh start in your mind body and soul" and study it from cover to cover. Click Here to Purchase your copy.